IVF, LOSS AND HOPE: ONE WOMAN’S JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD AT 50
- Jeni O'Dowd
- Apr 10
- 3 min read
Becoming a mother is rarely straightforward, and for many women, IVF, loss and hope become part of the same story.
For Sydney psychotherapist Julie Sweet, that story unfolded over years, shaped by persistence, heartbreak and a quiet determination to keep going.
Now a first-time mother at nearly 51, she is sharing her experience to help make those conversations a little less isolating.
What IVF, loss and hope really look like
Sweet met her partner later in life and initially assumed things would fall into place.
“I met my partner later in life, when I was around 42. About a year into our relationship, we began trying to conceive naturally, and when that didn’t happen, we sought medical advice," she says.
"The recommendation was very clear: if we wanted a chance, we should begin IVF and do so straight away. So we did.”
The journey that followed was long and uncertain.
“Over time, I went through nine IVF cycles. In between stopping and restarting treatment, I experienced a spontaneous natural pregnancy, which sadly ended in miscarriage at six weeks.
"Eventually, on what became our ninth and final cycle, I fell pregnant with our son.”
She is quick to acknowledge that not every story ends this way.
“Many people endure fertility journeys without that outcome, and I hold enormous respect and compassion for anyone who has experienced infertility or who is living with it now.”
The emotional toll behind IVF, loss and hope
While IVF is often discussed clinically, Sweet says the emotional impact runs deeper.
“For me, the greatest challenge was mental and emotional rather than physical. The medical side certainly took its toll, yet the psychological impact was far more profound.
"IVF is often described as a rollercoaster, and that was very true in my experience. At times, it was difficult simply to function.”
The miscarriage was the most difficult moment.
“The miscarriage was particularly painful and led me to step away from treatment for a time so I could process the grief and the sense of ‘what could have been’ before beginning again months later.
"I found that loss harder than any failed cycle of IVF.”
Finding strength through support
What shifted her experience was allowing others in.
“What helped me cope was holding onto even the smallest thread of hope and leaning on the people around me.
"I shared my experience openly with my partner, family and close friends, allowing them to witness what I was going through. Feeling seen, heard and supported made an enormous difference.
“My best friend in particular helped guide me through moments of deep despair. Being held by that support system was incredibly healing.”
She also sought professional support along the way.
“The truth is, I knew I needed support - and a lot of it - and allowing myself to access that was what ultimately carried me through the journey.”
Redefining motherhood later in life
Motherhood, she says, has been more meaningful than she expected.
“As for later-in-life motherhood, I never expected it to be as inspiring and enriching as it is. It has been the most grounding, empowering and love-filled experience of my life.”
“I don’t really think about my age - I turn 51 soon, and my gorgeous little boy just turned three - it simply feels like an arbitrary number.”
There are moments of reflection, but also perspective.
“A friend recently reminded me that each day with a child is love in its truest form. That perspective shifted something for me. It allows me to feel immense gratitude for every day I get to love my son.”
A message for women navigating IVF, loss and hope
Her advice to other women is simple.
“Trust yourself. Follow your instincts. Quiet the self-doubt and listen to your body," she says.
“Every woman’s journey is deeply personal, and I encourage women to honour their own inner knowing - their intuition, their decision-making process, and the quiet voice inside that often knows what is right.
Even if it’s just a whisper, it’s worth listening to.”
For many, IVF, loss and hope are not separate experiences, but part of the same story.
