REVEALED: POLYAMORY BOOM IS BEING DRIVEN BY MILLENNIALS AND GEN X

Do your research before you talk to your current significant other about a polyamorous relationship

You’d assume Gen Z, the generation that soft-launches relationships on TikTok and treats dating apps like sport, would be leading the charge on polyamory.

But nope. It turns out that the real non-monogamy pioneers are older, mortgage-aged, and have been around the emotional block a few times.

According to new user data from polyamorous dating app Sister Wives, millennials and Gen X are the real engine behind the rise in ethical non-monogamy. The 35 to 44 age group is the most active, while those 18 to 24 are barely dipping a toe.

Maybe Gen Z is still too busy figuring out how to text back without sounding like they care.

Who’s Actually Doing Polyamory?

Millennials (38.2 per cent of users) are the most poly-curious and the most active. Right behind them are Gen X in their late forties and fifties.

Meanwhile, only 5.5 per cent of users are Gen Z, despite all their chat about dismantling traditional relationships.

Women in Gen Z, though, are the group showing the most curiosity. Online, in forums, in DMs.

They’re talking about it. They’re just not quite doing it at scale yet, possibly because many of them are still trying to survive their first messy situationship.

What Polyamory Actually Means

Christopher Alesich, CEO of Sister Wives, sets the record straight: “Polyamorous individuals have multiple intentional, intimate, and loving relationships simultaneously. It’s a type of ethical non-monogamy with precise guidelines.

"These relationships are serious, committed, and devoted - everyone involved is aware of each other, though friendships outside the romantic connections are allowed.”

So essentially: not cheating, not chaos, not Tinder roulette. More like group chat-level communication, with shared calendars and emotional maturity unlocked on Hard Mode.

Why Older Daters Are Making It Work

The theory is simple. People in their late 30s and early 40s have had time to experience the standard monogamy script.

Some found it fulfilling, others realised it might not be their forever fit. They’ve developed conflict resolution muscles and have already done the whole "Why didn’t you reply" meltdown era.

“Based on our 20 years of experience running Sister Wives, we’ve found that ethical non-monogamy comes with certain ‘rules’ surrounding strong communication, clear boundaries and careful time management,” Christopher says.

“These are skills that not everyone in this age group has had a chance to develop or become confident in fully.”

Translation: talking about your feelings like a fully grown adult goes a long way.

Gen Z’s Slow Burn: Christopher points out that those aged 18 to 24 are still navigating their first loves and first heartbreaks.

Trying to manage multiple relationships on top of that would be like trying to run a marathon before you’ve figured out how to tie your shoes.

The growth of the gender ratio

However, the gender ratio among Gen Z users is evening out faster than that of any other generation.

This suggests the next wave of polyamory growth will almost certainly come from women leading the conversation.

Christopher has advice for anyone considering testing the polyamory waters: “Do your research before you talk to your current significant other regarding the introduction of the idea of a polyamorous relationship (if you’re in a relationship right now).

"Read books, online articles, participate in or join polyamory communities, get to know exactly what you're thinking about and will be proposing to your current or future partner.”

He’s clear: this isn’t a casual free-for-all. “Make yourself aware of everything a polyamorous relationship isn't and everything that it is. Ensure you understand that a relationship commitment is highly valued and necessary."

And yes, there are emotional risks. But also a potential upside:

"For many, their already existing dedication and love are deepened through an ENM relationship.”